It won't be for nothing.

Today I was reading through my journal, which is what I do when bored and have it handy, and I read something I wrote awhile ago. Whenever I'm talking to someone, or get a text, and they say something especially important or intelligent or fitting or whatever, I usually write it down before it gets deleted. A few months ago Hannah told me, "It won't be for nothing." For some reason, when I read that today it kind of struck me.

I think about all the times I've known I needed to do something, or wanted to, but was for whatever reason, held back by something. A lot of the time it's just a lack of belief in myself. And the hardest thing is that knowing sometimes I won't necessarily get a "good" result from those things I have to do.....well, the result will be good, but maybe not always apparent. Sometimes instant gratification is good, especially when you've doubted yourself. But most of the time, the things really worth doing will not give immediate rewards. What if, in those moments of self doubt, I could just remember that phrase? "It won't be for nothing." When I take a chance because of the possibilities involved...if I knew that. When I feel like I've worked much too hard for far too little results...if I knew that. When it seems like I could do all the good things in the world, yet, as some people believe, "the good guys always come in last"...well, what if I remembered this? I sometimes wonder what I could achieve, what we all could, if we had no fears to hold us back. If we knew something like, "It won't be for nothing." I wonder.

Love, Jennifer