au revoir

Well, I've gotta say, I'm insanely excited to leave for Chicago tomorrow. True, I will miss everyone more than you all could imagine, and I'm not sure I'll be able to handle leaving BTN, but...I'm still really excited. And if I have time and find some cool (hopefully free) stuff, I'll totally bring you all something amazing. And oh yeah, pumpkins memorobilia :D

So, have a fantastic week. We'll be back on the second sometime. Mucho Love to all.

Love, Jennifer

Fireworks in June

So yesterday I was with Derek and Michael, and Derek had the extreme urge to buy fireworks, so we headed over to Days and did so. I found sixty sparklers for a dollar, yeah, that's right, so I bought them. Then last night I was having one of my late night moments, so I took a box outside at midnight and looked at the stars then lit some sparklers. And that, dear blog world, is what I love about summer and what I feel like doing every day of the year.

Oh. And also I had about three really good conversations yesterday. You know what? It feels really good to tell people stuff that you've been wanting to say. In fact, go do it right now....it just might make your day magical.

Love, Jeb

"I get by with a little help from my friends..."

This week has been insanely random and really really fun...

On Thursday, I went to the Farmer's Market and found Jake, Besto, Michael, and Derek. We sat directly in front of the stage and listened to this crazy classic rock band, that I think was called Dr. Bob. Dr. something, anyway... I got really hungry, and realized that it wasn't a great place for food, so I found Besto, Joy, Brigette, and Krystal, who were also looking for food, and we all went to Subway. When we got there, Besto and I decided that I was taking him on a date, so I bought him a sandwich, and for the rest of the night we enjoyed our date. lol. we went back to the park, and listened to some more Dr. Bob, then after awhile Hannah came. Hoorah! Later we went to Britta's and paid her a "suprise" "hypothetical" visit. We all walked around emo lane, then kind of just laid on the sidewalk and laughed and took pictures and looked at the stars.

Friday, Black and Tan Nation was basically born. And as you are asking yourselves right now, "Is that a gang?" well yes, it is. We had what was the first of many trips to Borders, where we perused to our hearts' delight for about two hours, then made our way to Jamba Juice and the abandoned pizza hut. All of this is simply too amazing for words...

On Saturday Michael took me on an amazing date...that morning, he picked me up and took me to breakfast, all early, which was extra nice I thought. I had to work after that until two, but around four, he, tyler, and randi came by and picked me up. we went to days and bought lunchables, naked juice, snapple, and bread, then went to the duck pond in midway (which an insane amount of people know about now!). We ate our lunchables, and tyler definitely got his tiny mustard packet all over michael, and I mean ALL OVER. good thing Michael is a blue, or tyler would be dead. haha. after that we fed the ducks, and he and i decided that the bottom of the pond is most likely made of bread...which seems more and more true the more you think about it. then we played on the playground sort of thing until tyler had to go home to pack. they dropped michael and i off at my house, where we got in my car, then drove to the bridge in midway and then a stream where we made wishes. it was pretty amazing. after that we began a secret operation which i cannot speak of here. mmhmm. after, we went to besto's house and played on his computer until i had to go. whew. it was a lot of fun.

today, I had a family picnic sort of thing for my grandma's (g unit!) birthday. My family is nuts, I just have to say. after I went to see hannah, since I havent' seen her in forever, and we talked and laughed and just had an all-around fabulous time. "I don't want to listen to you!" "ice lollies." hahahaha

Love, Jennifer

ps. holy amazing guitarness. i've never wanted to play anything so badly as this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VAkOhXIsI0&NR=1

parents

Well, I guess I'm just in a quotey, not sleeping mood. I was watching Scrubs one night (I LOVE scrubs, by the way. dear everyone, someone should buy me like, every season of it! i'd marry you, no questions asked. lol) and it was this episode about parents and how hard it is for kids and parents to understand each other. it made me think and laugh a lot at the same time, which is exactly why i love this show. Anyone, one of my favorite quotes from the episode (and stealing britta's idea, also the quote of the day)...

Cox: You are, in fact, a perfectly healthy 26-year-old doctor who keeps whining about how horrible his father was.
J.D.: Well, he did some considerable emotional damage, so...
Cox: Every one of our parents does considerable emotional damage, and from what I've heard, it just might be the best part of being a parent. Now, if come guy ever does put a ring on your finger and you're lucky enough to pop out a youngster I'm sure you'll understand. But for now, believe me when I tell you I wouldn't care if this was the first time you ever met your daddy. Because, in reality... well, he could have done a much, much worse job.

And then the nice, quiet, somewhat inspirational background music that i love comes on, and the camera sort of pans out, and leaves all of america (or at least people like me watching tv because they hate to sleep) thinking about that. And about their own parents. And how....yeah....it could've been much, much worse. And that's when I'm glad to have the parents I do, the ones that embarrass me like you wouldn't believe. Because who else would've gotten me to where I am, you know? Yeah.

Love, Jennifer

Jack Handy

I think we could all use a little Jack Handy, don't you?

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

Once while walking through the mall a guy came up to me and said "Hey, hows it going?". So I grabbed his arm and twisted it up behind his head and said "Now whose asking the questions?"

I think a pillow should be the peace symbol, not the dove. The pillow has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have a beak to peck you with.

Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.

When I was in the 3rd grade, a bully in school started beating me up every day. At first I didn't say anything, but then I told dad. He got a real scared look on his face and asked if the bully had a big dad. I said I didn't know. But he still seemed scared. And just a few days later we moved to a new town. Dad told me that if anyone picked on me, not to fight back. Unless I knew the kid didn't have a dad or the dad was real small. Otherwise just curl up in a ball.

Too bad Lassie didn't know how to ice skate, because then if she was in Holland on vacation in winter and someone said "Lassie, go skate for help," she could do it.

If you're ever shipwrecked on a tropical island and you don't know how to speak the natives' language, just say "Poppy-oomy." I bet it means something.

One thing vampire children are taught is, never run with a wooden stake.

If you want to be the most popular person in your class, whenever the professor pauses in his lecture, just let out a big snort and say "How do you figger that!" real loud. Then lean back and sort of smirk.

I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using blanks.

If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind people and pinching them is probably a joke that gets old real fast.

I think college administrators should encourage students to urinate on walls and bushes, because then when students from another college come sniffing around, they'll know this is someone else's territory.

Marta says the interesting thing about fly-fishing is that it's two lives connected by a thin strand. Come on, Marta. Grow up.

Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. It's not love I'm describing. I'm thinking of a monorail.

When this girl at the art museum asked me whom I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise." She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder. Then she left. I guess she went to try to find some mayonnaise for me.

Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.

Marta was watching the football game with me when she said, "You know, most of these sports are based on the idea of one group protecting its territory from invasion by another group." "Yeah," I said, trying not to laugh. Girls are funny.

I hate it when people say somebody has a "speech impediment", even if he does, because it could hurt his feelings. So instead, I call it a "speech improvement", and I go up to the guy and say, "Hey, Bob, I like your speech improvement." I think this makes him feel better.

I think my new thing will be to try to be a real happy guy. I'll just walk around being real happy until some jerk says something stupid to me.

Instead of mousetraps, what about baby traps? Not to harm the babies, but just to hold them down until they can be removed?

If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, forget em', cause, man, they're gone.

When Gary told me he had found Jesus, I thought, Yahoo! We're rich! But it turned out to be something different.

Probably the saddest thing you'll ever see is a mosquito sucking on a mummy. Forget it, little friend.

Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.

To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."

The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see.

As we were driving, we saw a sign that said "Watch for Rocks." Marta said it should read "Watch for Pretty Rocks." I told her she should write in her suggestion to the highway department, but she started saying it was a joke - just to get out of writing a simple letter! And I thought I was lazy!

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.

I wish a robot would get elected president. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.

Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.

Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.

The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.

Whether they find a life there or not, I think Jupiter should be called an enemy planet.

Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, we should be thinking about getting more use out of the ones we already have.

I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. and since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him.

Just because swans mate for life, I don't think its that big a deal. First of all, if you're a swan, you're probably not going to find a swan that looks much better than the one you've got, so why not mate for life?

If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling school, I think one of the courses should be laughing, then jumping off something.

At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?" and you just looked at it with your X-ray vision and said, "Oh it's okay," then the patient would probably say, "Aren't you going to take an X-ray, stupid?" and you'd say, "Aw forget you, get outta here," and then he probably wouldn't even pay his bill.

When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil.

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.

I bet when the Neanderthal kids would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick, heavy brows." Then they would all get embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and they'd get mad and eat the snowman.

Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out.

The people in the village were real poor, so none of the children had any toys. But this one little boy had gotten an old enema bag and filled it with rocks, and he would go around and whap the other children across the face with it. Man, I think my heart almost broke. Later the boy came up and offered to give me the toy. This was too much! I reached out my hand, but then he ran away. I chased him down and took the enema bag. He cried a little, but that's the way of these people.

I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.

I don't think I'm alone when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.

I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.

I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don't think it would be a good idea to say, "I swallowed it. So sue me."

If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward.

I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.

When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.

What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid gold baby? Maybe we'll never know.

We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.

I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality.

As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasurable - until I realized it wasn't a nectarine at all, but A HUMAN HEAD!!

Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.

You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who make people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet you could shoot beer out of you nose.

Even though I was their captive, the Indians allowed me quite a bit of freedom. I could walk freely, make my own meals, and even hurl large rocks at their heads. It was only later that I discovered that they were not Indians at all but only dirty-clothes hampers.

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.

It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time you hear a mouse trap snap, and Angel gets set on fire.

If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.

I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.

The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if someone asks me why I didn't get more meat, I'll just say, "Oh, you mean this?" and pull out a big piece of meat from inside the blob of potatoes, where I've hidden it. Good magic trick, huh?

A funny thing to do is, if you're out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going to go for help, then go about ten feet and pretend that *you* got bit by a snake. Then start an argument with him about who's going to go get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke.

Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called the "Cricket Boy", because I would have liked to stand up in class and tell everybody, "You can make fun of the Cricket Boy if you want to, but to me he's just like everybody else." Then everybody would leave the Cricket Boy alone, and I'd invite him over to spend the night at my house, but after about five minutes of that loud chirping I'd have to kick him out. Maybe later we could get up a petition to get the Cricket Family run out of town. Bye, Cricket Boy.

I think a good product would be "Baby Duck Hat". It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head. Then you go swimming underwater until you find a mommy duck and her babies, and you join them. Then, all of a sudden, you stand up out of the water and roar like Godzilla. Man, those ducks really take off! Also, Baby Duck Hat is good for parties.

I wish I lived back in the old west days, because I'd save up my money for about twenty years so I could buy a solid-gold pick. Then I'd go out West and start digging for gold. When someone came up and asked what I was doing, I'd say, "Looking for gold, ya durn fool." He'd say, "Your pick is gold," and I'd say, "Well, that was easy." Good joke, huh.

If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, I think you should buck him off right away.

If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off. You see, we build to that.

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.

He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said, "Dust to dust," some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them. At his hanging, he told the others, "I'll be waiting for you in heaven--with a gun."

I scrambled to the top of the precipice where Nick was waiting. "That was fun," I said. "You bet it was," said Nick. "Let's climb higher." "No," I said. "I think we should be heading back now." "We have time," Nick insisted. I said we didn't, and Nick said we did. We argued back and forth like that for about 20 minutes, then finally decided to head back. I didn't say it was an interesting story.

If you're a Thanksgiving dinner, but you don't like the stuffing or the cranberry sauce or anything else, just pretend like you're eating it, but instead, put it all in your lap and form it into a big mushy ball. Then, later, when you're out back having cigars with the boys, let out a big fake cough and throw the ball to the ground. Then say, "Boy, these are good cigars!"

I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.

If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the impression we are trying to convey with our store. On the other hand, we would not prohibit tramps from browsing, or testing the trampolines, unless a tramp's gyrations seemed to be getting out of control.

I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a fresh load of tadpoles to the old board of his. Then he'd spin it round and round, like a wheel of fortune, and no matter where it stopped he'd yell out, "Tadpoles! Tadpoles is a winner!" We all thought he was crazy. But then we had some growing up to do.

I wouldn't be surprised if someday some fishermen caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then they cut the person open, and in him is a little baby shark. And in the baby shark there isn't a person, because it would be too small. But there's a little doll or something, like a Johnny Combat little toy guy---something like that.

Whenever anyone says "I can't," it makes me wish he'd get stung to death by about ten thousand bees. When he says "I'll try," five thousand bees. ("I can," one bee.)

much love, Jennifer

thinking

dear world,

so i've been thinking a lot lately, (WHAT, you are saying. thinking? this cannot be...), about our lives, and how intricately connected they are, and emotions, and things that you wouldn't believe about yourself, and .... well, just people in general. And you know what? I came to absolutely no valuable conclusion. I've just been thinking about myself, and why I get so attached to the things and people that I do, so quickly. My life continually surprises me. And you know what it is? I don't mean that in a bad way, at all....in fact, despite the letdowns and the personal drama that's been going on, all of that kind of stuff....I'm continually surprised at how good I have it. It's insane.

And yet, even if I overanalyze my life a thousand times and come up with a different conclusion each time, I'm still aware that...this is how it is. A bazillion people have been through this a bazillion times. And somehow, they've all made it. This weird, crazy, exhilarating, confusing, perfect thing we call life will go on, and yes, we will all make it. Yay.

Love, Jennifer

a bunch of random nothing.

Okay, I've gotta say, this week has been insanely boring. I hope it never repeats at all this summer..... everyone is gone! ....or a lot of everyone, anyway. Here's how it went:

• Hannah was mostly gone, first at an FBLA training thing, then a condo trip. bleah.
• Britta was at girls camp. bleah.
• Michael went to Lake Powell. Yay! and bleah.
• Brady was in Moab. bleah.

And...okay, so I guess everyone else is here. But people cannot leave, it messes up my life! lol. Mostly I've had to work all week, which kind of sucked, but I also kind of like having money, so I guess it evens out...

Last night, I officially became a warrior ninja. I slayed a mighty mountain dew bottle....(and, as you can see, embraced my inner immaturity). It was great. I might add here that tyler has way too much fun beating bushes and hitting glass all over. lol, what a good, random night.

well, hmm. this is a really lame blog, but I'm bored, and thought i should blog for some reason. bleah.

Love, Jennifer

....everyone, come back soon!

It won't be for nothing.

Today I was reading through my journal, which is what I do when bored and have it handy, and I read something I wrote awhile ago. Whenever I'm talking to someone, or get a text, and they say something especially important or intelligent or fitting or whatever, I usually write it down before it gets deleted. A few months ago Hannah told me, "It won't be for nothing." For some reason, when I read that today it kind of struck me.

I think about all the times I've known I needed to do something, or wanted to, but was for whatever reason, held back by something. A lot of the time it's just a lack of belief in myself. And the hardest thing is that knowing sometimes I won't necessarily get a "good" result from those things I have to do.....well, the result will be good, but maybe not always apparent. Sometimes instant gratification is good, especially when you've doubted yourself. But most of the time, the things really worth doing will not give immediate rewards. What if, in those moments of self doubt, I could just remember that phrase? "It won't be for nothing." When I take a chance because of the possibilities involved...if I knew that. When I feel like I've worked much too hard for far too little results...if I knew that. When it seems like I could do all the good things in the world, yet, as some people believe, "the good guys always come in last"...well, what if I remembered this? I sometimes wonder what I could achieve, what we all could, if we had no fears to hold us back. If we knew something like, "It won't be for nothing." I wonder.

Love, Jennifer

an epic tale

Running is not all it's cracked up to be. Today I got home from work, and, realizing that nothing socially exciting would be happening, decided to go for a little run. After all, I haven't been to the gym in about two weeks. Yes, I am serious. Anyway, I kind of felt like some contemplation time at the duck pond, and hey, it's not that far away, right? haha. right. I'm pretty sure it ended up being like six miles. Somehow, I accidentally took what will now be referred to as the Scenic Route Tour de Midway.





After a few blocks, I felt insanely tired, but proud of myself, so on I went. I must point out right now that for some reason I saw a lot of really bizarre stuff. anyway, I get to the base of the gargantuan hill which I was determined to conquer. about halfway up it are two police cars, pulling over some other car. for a moment i thought it was lurpey's car, and in my mind, i played out a bizarre situation involving him driving drunk. why? i have no idea. does that matter? no. anyway, it wasn't him, just some poor guy sitting handcuffed in the gravel while the police searched his car. he looked a lot like a chinese warlord. chinese warlords probably tend to have the same really annoyed look on their faces all the time like this guy had.





So, the hill. I seriously had to force myself to keep going up and up and up it. I was breathing insanely hard, and feeling like sitting down and dying, but no, I went on. and then for the next mile, I kid you not, I refused to run. I walked it. "But wait," you are saying, "I thought this was going to be a short trip??" Well, so did I. turns out I grossly underestimated the distance. I walked along the road for the next mile, trying to decide what to do. For some reason I just kept going. At one point, I passed a pack of six-year-olds on bikes, going the opposite direction. I kept on "running" (walking), but eventually I heard small boy voices behind me and looked to see them following, at a good distance. Hmm, odd. Oh well. I guess I was just in their turf.





After walking this mile, I realized I didn't even want to see the duck pond anymore, I just wanted to get home. I knew there was this smaller road that intersected the one I was on that led back down to where I wanted to go, so I decided to take that. A very, very long time later, I finally found that road. Again, a gross underestimate of distance on my part. While traipsing through the countryside, I saw about four deer, all of which glared at me for no apparent reason at all. I glared back, because running puts me in a bad mood. Along the side of the road I saw a bit, domeshaped rock sort of formation, yay, a hotpot! So I walked over to take a look down inside, and to my dismay, it was filled with trash. People suck, lol. There was this blanket dumped down inside, and my morbid mind immediately told me there was a body underneath, so I got all creeped out. Then I imagined myself falling inside. And it wasn't even that deep, but the way a hotpot is shaped, it's impossible to climb out because of the domey curving walls. I saw myself down there, waiting for days, and somehow the deer were outside, free and smirking because I had glared at them. So i moved on before I had a chance to fall in.





I get to a choice, a fork in the road, if you will. One way went on straight, and I was fairly sure it would lead me home, but there was also the possibility that it was the demon road I once drove on. and i am telling you, that road went on forever. and I was even in my car, yet it still felt looonnnng when I stumbled upon it. So my only other choice was "pine canyon road" which sounded vaguely familiar, and I was hoping it would intersect back somewhere good for me. So i set off down pine canyon road, still walking. what they don't tell you about pine canyon road (because no one ever mentions pine canyon road) is that there are ditches all along it, and fields, which makes for a nice mosquito habitat. so that was nice. also, it's a big spot for development, so as I walked along, increasingly annoyed at feeling lost and tired of walking, I scoped out the houses, mentally deciding which ones I would buy if I had cash in "the low 600,000s" to spend. And also, it struck me how ridiculous the names of the subdivisions are becoming. My favorite was Double Eagle drive. I have the feeling that one just strikes every american right in the heart.





Pine canyon road is a nice, suburban area, where everyone likes to go out and parade their dogs around. This guy had two of them, one of which had a ponytail. and I am completely serious. A little further down ( this road, I found out, goes on forever), two girls were walking what looked like, in terms of size and hairiness, a small gerbil. They eyed me suspiciously, like I were going to steal their animal thing or something. I wasn't, by the way. It was on Pine canyon Road that I noticed the large blister forming on my left heel. About at the peak of my frustration, the demon voice came out, and I was telling myself, out loud, that I was tired of walking, when I looked over to see some guy laying on his lawn. So I ran for the first time in sixteen miles to avoid more embarrassment.





Finally, finally, Pine Canyon Road ended, and I was back on the road before the base of the monster hill. And of course, the police and the chinese warlord were still there. Backup, of course, had been called, so there were now upwards of three vehicles with flashing lights up ahead. Good luck, pal.





The rest of my return was uneventful. I knew where I was, so my annoyance at the world lessened, adn I just became really hungry. As i jogged the last few blocks to my house, I realized the irony of the situation. I HATE running seriously. And usually I focus on every step and every painful breath until I'm about to go crazy. But in the course of getting lost and annoyed and my spurts of random running, I completely forgot how I hate running. I was in such a hurry to find my way home that I didn't even realize I was running anymore. At some point in there, i broke through the wall, and didn't even take the time to realize it. Now isn't that epic?


And on a lighter note, here is my obituary. i think it's probably pretty accurate.

Love, Jennifer

a moment of falling in love

well, here I am, home from camp. and it was insanely nice to shower and ....yes, blow-dry my hair when I got home. I guess nothing happened while I was gone, but somehow I think things happened, just the unsaid, small kinds of things that will eventually make a difference.

So for some reason I decided to leave my cellphone at home. And although I felt really weird and cut off from everything, I am so glad I did it. I became one of those crazy people who just disappear into the mountains for awhile to think. And think I did. After a few days, I kind of had a clearer picture of my life, and it seemed to me that I have been putting way too much energy into all of the wrong things lately. Sometimes those small things really just don't matter.

The very best was last night. Some girls in my ward and I had been out doing mischief at around 1:30, and we took the long way coming back along this road. We kind of came around this bend and looked up, and it was amazing. Like, breathtaking-amazing. The trees were insanely tall, and stark white against the black sky. And the stars up there are brilliant, the only way to describe them. I've never seen so many all at once, it was beautiful. And to top it all off, the mountain way ahead of us had this tiny halo of pink light around the edges somehow, like it was glowing. I couldn't believe it. We were all off in another world, and didn't speak for the longest time while we walked. And it was just one of those moments where you can't believe you're so lucky to be alive and you can't believe how okay things are right at that moment. I was in love with life, I'm pretty sure. So I still feel sort of like that, I guess. That's the best way I can explain it. So if I seem weird or distant, that's probably why, my mind's still off on a mountain somewhere.

Love, and I missed all of you a lot, Jennifer