sunrise and moonset. oh, and a really scary movie.

Bonjour,

So this is what I woke up at five forty-five this morning for. I'd say it ended up being worth it. My alarm went off, and I fought every feeling inside me to go back to sleep. After I quickly got dressed, I left a little note and rode my bike over to memorial hill. then i pedaled/walked up it. that thing is freakin long, lol. once i finally made it to the top, i sat around for about thirty minutes waiting for the sun to rise. for your information, it rises at about 6:40. anyway, at that moment I got this picture which i originally didn't think much of, but like a lot now!



the cool thing about this whole adventure was that while the sun was rising to my left, on my right the moon was just setting behind timp. and now I can say that I saw the line that divides night and day... sometimes the amazing stuff just overwhelms me, you know?

so today kind of ended up being a day of doing some nice nature things. after the sunrise adventure, i went home and slept for a while, then rescued hannah's family, who ran out of gas. :) lol. then I went to my grandpa's and hung up his laundry then talked to him for awhile. after that I went home, got lunch, then drove up to the grove, where I sat beneath this great old tree and tried to draw it. quite difficult....more so than it seemed anyway. but i did enjoy it. while I was there, about three deer wandered by. some were more cautious of me than others, but i did manage to get about two decent pictures. the weird things like that are making me happy these days.

tonight i went with erin, britta, and brady to the Jordan Landings to see a movie. Oh wow, did we get lost. Erin quickly took on the role of "yell person", britta the role of "being right but sometimes ignored", brady of "scapegoat", and me of "sitting there saying absolutely nothing." oh yes, I was also there for emotional stability of the group. It was decided that laws are made for people who know where they're going, and eventually, apparently because of my prayers, we made it there. and we were even in time to see the previews before, lol. we met brock, kylie, jacob ward, and his two brothers, and saw "1408". it was freakin' scary. i seriously screamed out loud like three times (i never do that), and was clutching britta's knee the whole time. but, it was a cool, if bizarre, movie. and we even made it home without incident.

that's all for now. good night to all.

Love, Jennifer

IKEA and my new plant.

So yesterday I went with Norgan to Ikea to get some more amazing stuff for her room-in-progress. I've just gotta say....that place is fantastic. Seriously, it blows my mind. There are so many beautiful rooms in the showroom, and all the stuff is priced really well. As I told Hannah, it brought out my inner Martha Stewart, which immediately started yelling "Decorate! Decorate! Decorate!" So ha. Take that WalMart.

We walked around and picked stuff up for about four hours, then as we were almost leaving, we found a whole bunch of really cheap bamboo plants. So we were each going to get one, but we couldn't decide on just one, so we ended up getting two. Morgan named hers Shanghai and Mulan, (very fitting for a bamboo plant), and mine are: Frodo (the fat one on the left) and Voldemort (the sinister, skinny looking one). We were really excited about these.

As we were walking around lighting land, we passed this guy, who was talking to his new wife, I'm pretty sure. And this was one of those amazing movie moments that actually happened in real life. But anyway, he kind of started shouting and said, "No! I just can't wait to build my house with you!" And he was so excited, and she was sort of embarrassed but you could tell they were totally in love. And I was in love with that guy for that moment. So that made me really happy.

So that's about all that's going on in my life. Bamboo plants and all. But I've gotta say, I'm definitely in love with summer. Still. Always.

Love, Jennifer

to britta :D

Hey everyone...

So do you know what today is? It's britta marie's birthday! i'm very excited about this, so happy sweet sixteen britta :D

so not very much has been going on. it's been a nice week of doing great things with morgan though....i'm sure you've all seen the pictures by now, and that's just the part of it we got on film. it's been nice, but i'm also glad hannah's back, so now the fammy's been fully reunited. yay.

wow, this sucks. but sorry, that's about all i've got going on right now. lol. i ran through the sprinkler mist tonight.

Love, Jennifer

Deux Cents et Compte

Well you can just break out the party hats, because this is officiall Blog #200. That's right. And I must admit, I'm in a somewhat uncomfortable mood, so to counteract this, I will think of the good things that I have. And those are all of you. Yes, yes. So the following is a list of all of you, the ones I love, and the great things you've done for me. Or maybe just why I love you. Anyway, happy 200.

Hannah: You've done a lot, a lot for me, which makes this hard to choose. But, I must warn you, my choice is not based on overall impact. It's just something that struck me as really sweet and selfless that I was incredibly grateful for. Remember that night, after the massage day with Morgan and her mom? And I was pretty disappointed because of something that happened earlier (which happened a lot) and we were just in my room, probably eating yogos or otter pops. anyway, an opportunity arose and you totally let me ditch you because it was important to me at the time. And this seems really stupid, but that was a big thing, because at that moment I realized that you really, really cared about my happiness. and that is worth the world.

Morgan: I love you because you always think of the really best, wonderful things to do for me. For example, back when I worked at Le Hub, I absolutely hated it. But the days when you would walk in, always with this perfect Morgan smile, it made me very happy. And you never ever come empty-handed. Like when you brought me a sobe, or like the day it rained and you, shirt spotted with raindrops, came to wftm with sunflowers. those are the things that mean a lot.

Britta: You always check in with me, and I've gotta say, it makes me feel nice. You always ask how i'm doing, and really, I know what you're actually asking. And I always feel like I can be honest with my answer. Did you notice how I used "always" a lot in this? That's because that's what you are; you are an "always" person, and I'm infinitely glad I can count on you like that.

Michael: I love you because you are much much "too nice". I have no idea who told you that, but I hope you completely ignore it. Seriously. The world could use a whole bunch more "too nice" people. It balances out the times when things get feeling "too bad."

Besto: No one is like you! Once you told me something like, "you can't expect him to stay single forever." And you were so right, because that's exactly what I had been doing. And I completely hated it that you said that, but I knew it was true. And I'm glad you are so ridiculously honest, because honesty is, well, a good thing.

Tyler: The very best thing you've done is accept me for me. And that is no small feat, lol. Like staying up forever because i had the terrible idea of cookies at one a.m., and then later eating them and pretending they weren't so bad. or playing ninjas on the hill. or bringing me cornflakes. and i'm hardly ever completely honest with anyone, but I was with you and to my surprise and delight, you showed me that that doesn't always end badly. Thanks.

Randi: Well, you really truly experience life fully, and I envy that. I've never seen you change to fit something that's not you, and I think that's great. Plus, you do look like a gummybear in goggles.

Erin: You're easy to talk to, which is always nice. I get the feeling that one of these days, given the right circumstances, I just might spill my guts to you. And no one could've pulled off the "jebby" thing and got that going except you.

Lurpie: I was really glad to know that you still remembered. And as for things you've done for me, at the very top of the long list is you not minding the phone calls and for the very first choir tour. both meant the world.

Enano: Yours is really, really easy. The bowling night, complete with snowy music and driving away. And you always, always make me laugh.

Brady: Thanks for the 2 a.m. night. And I have no idea why I said all that stuff, but you really didn't mind. I appreciate the philosophy and your trying to be a good person in the midst of a weird situation.

Lakey: Strange of me to use this word, but the best was the innocent way in which you approached it. Thanks for being the first.

Toni: Yeah, you'll never read this, but you definitely make the list anyway. I am still in love with the invented holidays and the knowledge that I never had a sister but actually did all along.


Love, Jennifer

"Caring about others, running the risk of feeling, and leaving an impact brings happiness." -Harold Kushner

Quincinera

Hola!

Last night was a lot of fun. I went to Besto's cousin, Karevi's quincinera. And by the way, I think she has the prettiest name ever! And dress! I got to see Besto do this choreographed dance with Karevi and all the other escorts, along with Michael, Britta, Brigette, and Erin....then Enano and Joy came later. It was amazing! It will definitely be forever imprinted on my mind, because it was just that good. I think I had this big smile on my face the whole time as I watched. After the formal sort of things, it was just like this big party, and after awhile even Britta, Michael, and I got sort of over our whiteness and danced. And yeah, we probably still sucked, being white and all, but as Berto put it, "Yeah, but it's cool that you try."

So that was fun. I'm definitely glad I was there.

So I just had a thought. The most comments I've ever gotten for one post is six. And I think we could beat that, because I know of 8 people who do, or have, read my blog. So we'll see, right? Lol, I'm not holding my breath though.

Love, Jennifer

nature moment

So, yesterday for YW's we hiked to Stuart Falls. And I was definitely in love with it! The hike definitely wasn't bad, pretty even and about 1.7 miles. Finally we kind of descended down this hill and got the first glimpse of the falls....oh wow. A few of us walked down to the river beneath, and looked up at everything. It was amazing. And it had the nicest cool mist coming down off it. We climbed up higher to the next level up, where there was a smallish pool sort of thing right off where the water comes down before it goes into the next waterfall. It was just really, really nice. I wanted to just stand there for hours. Or live there. Or whatever. But I loved it. So there's my nature moment of the week.

Also, the weather right now is beyond perfect.

And also, in case you didn't know this and read it before tonight, at the farmers' market today there will be a swing band! yay.

Love, Jennifer

New Jennifer---this one's faking it.

So this summer I've been thinking a lot about college. And honestly, it's scaring me to death...I am not a decision maker. I realized this mostly last summer when I met for lunch with someone at Dairy Keen. And I hadn't ever really hung out with him, so he didn't know much about me, and he still told me I wasn't a decision maker. And this story is sort of beside the point, but he is so right. I'm freaking out, because when it really comes down to it, I am going to have a ridiculously hard time deciding anything. And these are important decisions here.

Somewhere in between all this decision making, I've started to realize that this doesn't fit. I shouldn't be deciding on COLLEGE stuff... I mean, it makes me feel mature or something, and I mean really, but that's so wrong. I'm not mature! I'm going to the midnight premier of Harry Potter tonight! I still put Nesquik chocolate powder on my ice cream, because that's just plain delicious. I sleep on my trampoline. I carry around playdough in my purse, just in case. This college decision making thing is completely wrong. I'm definitely not "grown up" so how'd I get to this point so quickly? Sigh. I may seem mature on the outside, but inside I'm still about twelve years old. So yeah, new Jennifer, and about the maturity, well, she's faking it.

Love, Jennifer

summer nights

surprise. another good quote from Goodbye Tsugumi.

"On nights like this when the air is so clear, you end up saying things you ordinarily wouldn't. Without even noticing what you're doing, you open up your heart and just start talking to the person next to you--you talk as if you have no audience but the glittering stars, far overhead. There are any number of negatives showing nights like this filed in the "Summer Nights" section of my brain....The knowledge that as long as I went on living I would always have chances to feel these nights made it possible for me to have hope for the future. Lovely nights like tonight....I knew this night would never be back, but that didn't matter. Just having the possibility, just knowing that I might find myself again in a night like this, in some other summer, was enough to make it all perfect."

As you can probably tell, I'm in love with this book. lol.

So tonight Hannah and Morgan and I (and probably (and hopefully) everyone else) are going to the farmer's market. yay. except for it's like three o'clock right now and 100 degrees, which is (as enano would say) ri-gosh-dang-diculous. anyway, i'm still excited.

Love, Jennifer

goodbye tsugumi

Right now I'm reading a book called "Goodbye Tsugumi" by Banana Yoshimoto. This next part is one of the best things I've read in a long time. It's just really, really good. Really.

"...we were all struggling to conceal the murky snarl of emotions that must actually have slept deep inside each one of us. Life is a performance, I thought. Perhaps the word "illusion" would have meant more or less the same thing, but to me "performance" seemed closer to the truth. Standing there in the midst of the crowd that evening, I felt this realization swirl dizzily through my body in a dazzling splendor of light, if only for an instant."

and the next part of it is what i've always thought about but never put into words...

"Each one of us continues to carry the heart of each self we've ever been, at every stage along the way, and a chaos of everything good and rotten. And we have to carry this weight all alone, through each day that we live. We try to be as nice as we can to the people we love, but we alone support the weight of ourselves."

That's all.

Love, Jennifer

Why Hello, Beautiful

Whew. Back from Chicago this afternoon. It really was an amazing trip. I realized that I really, really love cities. It was such a crazy, fast place, but I loved everything about it. The walking everywhere thing was sort of tiring, but I could get used to it. The buildings there were huge and riding elevators kind of sucked, but seeing skyscrapers everywhere was really new compared to everything flat here in Utah. The things I didn't exactly love where driving and the lack of stars. And not to say that I actually drove anywhere because I definitely didn't, but I would have been risking my life if I had! It's kind of strange to come home and drive around without careening or honking your horn all the time. And the stars....well, lack of.....that was the one thing that bothered me most, how it was so hazy there that you could only see a few stars every night. I kept thinking about Utah, and nights when it was so dark here you could see ridiculous amounts of stars. Overwhelming amounts of stars. And I really missed that.

But, all in all, I really love Chicago and miss it already. It is nice to be home though... and I definitely do not miss airports. We came really close to missing our plane this morning, and that would've really sucked. Airport security is getting really tight these days and the lines are super long. So, thank goodness I won't have to do that again for awhile. But, that also means my traveling is mostly over, which sucks. But that's okay, the city fulfilled all my wildest dreams, so it was probably a success. :D

Love, Jennifer