Anything for You

August  14, 2009

I have called you children, I have called you son. 
What is there to answer if I'm the only one? 
Morning comes in Paradise, morning comes in light. 
Still I must obey, still I must invite. 
If there's anything to say, if there's anything to do, 
If there's any other way, I'll do anything for you. 

I was dressed embarrassment. 
I was dressed in wine. 
If you had a part of me, will you take your time? 
Even if I come back, even if I die 
Is there some idea to replace my life? 
Like a father to impress; 
Like a mother's mourning dress, 
If you ever make a mess, I'll do anything for you 

I have called you preacher; I have called you son. 
If you have a father or if you haven't one, 
I'll do anything for you. I did everything for you 

current things.

So this is pretty weird, but I'm getting really close to moving out of my parents' house.  For good.  It's a really weird thought to me, but I like the idea of it a lot.  Sometimes (most of the time) I still feel so young, like twelve, really.  Other times, I know it's time for me to move on and discover the next adventures of my life.  So this, like any other change for me, is filled with equal amounts of excitement and fear.  I'll probably be moving down to my apartment in Salt Lake on Saturday.  Ah!

In related news, my last day of work (forEVER!) at Soldier Hollow is tomorrow.  I feel actually kind of sad about this.  It's hard to explain exactly how I feel, but I've grown very fond, I guess you would say, of the people I work with.  And if you haven't caught on to this yet, I hate endings of any kind.  It will be way awesome to not have to wake up at 5 anymore though!

As for school, this semester I'll actually start into my core psychology classes, which I'm really psyched about.  Right now, my plan is a major in Psychology, minor in Nutrition, and hopefully I'll graduate with an Honors degree.  I've gotta get on top of stuff and start getting involved in some research and all.  The nice thing about all of this is that I finally feel like I can breathe.....because finally, finally, I feel like I have a direction and a plan.  No more wandering aimlessly.  Obviously it will most likely change a bit or a lot before the end, but it feels so much nicer to know what I'm working towards.

And finally, back to the life list.  I really regret not posting about skydiving, but that's that, so if you'd like to know how it went and how amazing and alive it made me feel, just ask and I'll tell you all about it.  But anyway, the list.... since skydiving is now checked off, I have something else to take its place which is (and I'm serious!).... shark cage diving!  I don't know how or when I will make this happen, but I know it would be really really really awesome.  And kind of dangerous, but that's what I like about it.  

the list as of now.  ish.  

--the northern lights

--fireflies

--shark cage diving

--general happiness.  of course.

Love, Jennifer

"Red"

This feeling that we grew upon

Was never meant for words

And early morning thoughts

Scream forget me not

And I know the price of time

Is never too low

And the light overhead blocked out the moon

And the stars turned to red

And it's easy to get lost when you're in an element like this

Let it all go, let it all go

Give me something I can hold

See the world in black and white

Just close your eyes, close your eyes.