good news! and more good news!

Helllloooooooo! (in case you couldn't tell, that was Jerry Seinfeld's bellybutton-person voice)

So I feel like I've been slacking in the blogging aspect of my life. I am truly sorry! Updates, I guess....

I got the most fantastic news of all time today! It all started when I left seminary to go to the dentist. I got there, and went in, all "excited" to be there, you know, and after awhile Dr. O comes in and checks my teeth like always. He's talking about how I'm "almost done" and all, but in my mind I've already formulated a secret plan. Ha. I "suggested" that the braces come off next month, which somehow he agreed to! That's right, only one more month then I'm FREE! This is very exciting news until I realize that I have to do "impressions" which is another term for "the thing where they put some (and by some they mean a massive amount of) silly putty into a tray in my mouth, where it slowly slides down your throat, but Don't You Dare Gag! Then, throughout the rest of the day you have the pleasure of finding more bits of rogue sillyputty in your mouth. It sucks. But woohoo, only one more month, right?

Good news! I am in the process of becoming a nerd. You are probably thinking, but wait, you are already a nerd. True. But Besto's educating me in the ways of gamer nerds, which was a group i previously felt left out of, so am now joining. I have a nerd magazine. I used to play Nintendo all the time. That's right, the gray-box nintendo that gave the world such things as mario and those tubes he jumps down. Just don't be surprised when I beat you at video games now. Ha.

Time to eat.

Love, Jennifer

Wedding

So I just got back from a wedding, which was...not really what I expected, I guess. I've been to receptions and stuff before, but I've never actually been to the ceremony, and it kind of fell short, I'm sorry to say. I guess the only ones I've "seen" were the huge, expensive ones in movies and stuff, so that kind of warped my ideas on a wedding. It was small, and was beautiful in its own way, but not....magical. Lol, this is really lame, and I know it. But I imagine things in a certain way, but they aren't ever actually like it. Oh well. I really wanted the front row, because I knew I wouldn't be able to see if I wasn't close. I mean, honestly, you should've seen some of these people's hair! Huge! I settled into the "almost-front" second row, then watched. The bride was incredible, I must say, and the groom looked great too. I started to think about Dan's wedding, and decided I HAD to be in the front row, then realized with a shock that I'd be up there, in line. Ugh.

My grandpa rode with us, and he was worried about leaving my grandma alone for too long, so we left after the ceremony, so I didn't get any cake, which was kind of disappointing. Also, I never even got the chance to make The Toast. That's probably okay, because I'd like to be invited to more of my family's weddings. Ha.

Love, Jennifer

givingup

I knew there had to be a catch.

This week was great. I was in the best mood, for a long time. Ah, it was great. Kind of changed tonight. Hope is the funniest thing. Nomatter how bad things seem, on paper at least, hope makes it okay to keep believing there is a better. I've been living, eating, and breathing hope. Nights like tonight, however, make it seem a little bit useless though. Life has this way of being exquisitely painful. And ironic. Some days, I wish I didn't feel anything at all.

Some day, when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you...
And the way you look tonight.

Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft,
There is nothing for me but to love you,
And the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fear apart...
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
It touches my foolish heart.

Lovely ... Never, ever change.
Keep that breathless charm.
Won't you please arrange it ?
'Cause I love you ...
Just the way you look tonight.

Mm, Mm, Mm, Mm,
Just the way you look to-night.

jerks. lol, jk.

funny how nobody comments on my blogs anymore. oh wait....NOT FUNNY! perhaps i will go on a blog strike, then what will all of you read while searching the net? hmm? Yeah.

"Love,"
Jennifer

May we all be as honest, and live much longer...

Today was unexpectedly great. I had to work, so I spent four hours in the store, not knowing what to do because literally everything had already been done. Then I see some guy walking along the path, and I think to myself "Who IS that?" Surprise, it's Tyler! And behind him, Spiva! I am very excited about this. So they come in, and Tyler wants some Burt's Bees, then they stay for awhile and entertain me, trying on everything. Spiva has this thing about beads touching his skin, lol. "Don't ask." It seems to be Jennifer will say Retarded Things Day, because I was talking about catching a rooster, and said I would bring cornflakes to lure it in. Oh wait, that's just a picture on the box....

After work, I go on an "unofficial double date" at Morgan's house with Tyler and Spiva and Morgan. Tyler and Brady drove to PC to get Panda Express and Cold Stone, then came back. Morgan and I set up her dining room with candles and all this stuff, then took over the food situation and served the guys. It was great. The candles entertained us wayyy too much, and now I have yet another mental picture of Brady that I will never forget. It being President's Day, we all toasted George Washington ("To George!"), then later Abraham Lincoln ("May we all be as honest, and live much longer!"). It was fantastic. I took one bite of the ice cream, and said, very honestly surprised, "This is good! It's ice cream!", by which I obviously meant cake batter flavored ice cream, but you know, whatever. Kind of like cornflakes.

After our fantastic dinner, we started watching a movie called "Spies like us", which was very funny. Sadly we actually have that "school thing" tomorrow, so we had to go home before we got to watch very much of it.

I will say though, that since it was an "unofficial" date, they promised to take us on an "official" date sometime in the near future. Happy President's Day to you too. :D

Love, Jennifer

expound

Look! Here i am, posting again. I'm not really sure why, cause I'm kind of tired, but I will definitely fight the feeling. So to expound...

Tyler's bee-day party. It was very interesting! I got the feeling that my previous assumptions on relationships were somehow wrong, and I was okay with that. I had some tasty seven-layer bean dip. That is correct, seven layers. Tyler tried to slap me with the giant fish, but luckily he and Hannah became engaged in an all-out power struggle (literally this time) and I avoided the hit. Mostly I sat around hoping hannah would win. I played his birthday guitar for awhile, and when Spiva came he and Besto were sitting around with me, and spiva suggested I write a song, title of his choosing. "okay," i said, unwittingly. The title turned out to be something close to "Ode to the small green lump of putty i found in my armpit one midsummer's morning." although it disgusted even me, I took on the task of writing this masterpiece. And masterpiece it was. It was deep and most likely life-changing for everyone involved. Also, I think (no ego intended here) I am tyler's little sister's new idol. I taught her a guitar chord. Oh. I also got a nice valentine message, which goes something like, "be good, my lady." one 'word'....shhh. lol, don't ask.

I worked today, and it was really funny to me. 90% of the customers that came in were guys. You know what they all wanted? Take one look into their desperate, quickly searching eyes and it's clear: last minute V-day gifts. Luckily, I quickly became expert gift-helper and sent many-a-man away feeling like he was prepared for this ruthless holiday. The cutest was like this twelve year old kid buying earrings for someone. Aw. Also, these two guys came in, one who I previously quoted on a different blog, but nevermind. Anyway, he had a friend this time, who definitely does not go to our school, I will say. He was interesting, probably the complete opposite of me (in appearance, not necessarily anything else), but I liked him a lot. He was just one of those instantly likeable people. So they looked around for a bit, and I got to laugh some and talk to them. It was great, one of the best parts of the day for sure. Too bad I'll never see friend again. hm.

Well, I have a smallish headache now, and I should probably sleep some, so goodbye for now.

V-Day. Like D-Day, but with less killing.

Well, here I am blogging. Except I guess I could say whatever I wanted because no one reads these anymore! Oh wait, yes they do, they just don't comment. Hmph.

So I just finished watching My Best Friend's Wedding, which is by far my favorite chick flick ever. I had a great Valentine's Day, especially considering the singleness. So why, we must ask, would I go and do a thing like watch a chick flick? I have no idea. Now I just feel slightly depressed, which is what always happens after watching those. Either the girl ends up getting everything she ever wanted, which leaves you feeling like your life is lacking something serious, or else the girl doesn't get what she wanted, and we were supposed to learn an important lesson about love, but really we just feel kind of cheated because life's not perfect, and Hollywood failed to tell us it is. Lol. Such an addictive, vicious cirle.

On a happier note, Maria and I found the best "secret" spot today, which I am very excited about. AND, I don't have to go to school until 11:00 tomorrow. Yay.

Love, Jennifer

a thursday thought.

So overloaded with homework right now. And I also realized how stressful liking someone can be. Just a lot of stress. Meh.

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down." -Woody Allen

I miss tuesdays.

Love, Jennifer

"amusing." not really.

I've found some recent events amusing, which would not be considered really amusing under normal circumstances. Nothing serious, really, but the "high school drama" stuff I thought I'd somehow avoided. Ehh, oh well. But, these little situations pop up, and I find all I can do is sit back and smile a little bit because (as Jack Handy puts it) "life's just funny." It's like I've finally realized that I can either get really upset by things easily, or I can take life as it comes, even when things suck. Cause that happens a lot. It's this defense mechanism I've developed, and I'm finding out that I like it a lot. I guess what I'm saying is, Why get bent out of shape about things? Disappointments happen. I just think that it's a lot easier to be happy when I don't let those things define me. It's seemed lately that a lot of people are depressed. Maybe it's the winter. Maybe it's the unusually cold winter. Maybe it's life making us more bitter. Maybe it's just us getting older and losing our optimism. I don't know. But all I know is, I hate it. Life's not going to be kind to anyone it seems, but that doesn't mean we can't be happy. Sometimes it takes some effort to find the good, but I'd say it's a lot better than the alternative. I think a lot of the time we forget what friends are. It sure seems like it. Sigh.

Love, Jennifer

ps---why my sudden optimism? things are just feeeeeeling goooooood.

I could never get enough of this

I think this about sums up today.

Mother, We Just Can't Get Enough
New Radicals


There's something about you,
Tears me inside out
Whenever you're around
Theres something about you
Speeding through my veins
Until we hit the ground
And there's something about this rush
Take it away
It made me feel so good
I get a feeling
You get a feeling,
We got a feeling
Like we could die
And guess what mother
We just can't get enough
We just can't get enough
We just gotta get it up
We just gotta get it up
There's something about you
That tears me inside out
Whenever you're around
And there's something about you
That makes me fly
You're a heart attack,
Just the kind I like
And there's something about your kiss
Haunting and strange
That makes me feel so good
I get a feeling,
You get a feeling,
We got a feeling
Like we're alive
And mother
Chorus:
We just can't get enough
We just can't get enough
Lover
We just gotta get it up
We just gotta get it up
This world may not have too much time
But baby I'm fine
Because maybe you're mine
We just can't get enough
This world may not have too much time
But baby I'm fine
Because maybe you're mine
We just can't get enough
You better give up,
Come on and give up
Give up your life
It's you for me, and me for you
You make my dreams come true
Off the wall coming from me
But I wanna see this through, my baby
You're on my mind all the time
I found a million dimes
You rolled the dice, and lost them all
And baby I just don't mind
And incidentally mother
(chorus)
And I don't want no one
If I can't have you
A world of illusion
But baby you're true
I know I deceived you
I once told you lies
If you dont believe me
Just look in my eyes
Social security number please
Credit card number please
Money please
Money please
Money please
Please deposit $85 dollars
For the next three minutes please

sleep

You know what I love about sleep?

As soon as your head hits the pillow, it's like the day begins to soften and seem less important, and maybe less bad...

The little disappointments that happen every day begin to leave your mind, dropping off, one, then another, then another...

Your body relaxes...

And pretty soon, you are gone...

And then you dream...

And when you dream, you have courage to do the things you can't in real life. Things happen that you've always wanted, or maybe never even thought about, but they happen and sometimes it's really amazing, but alwas surprising.

Maybe if you mess up in the first dream, well, so what. There will be another after that to try again, because in your dreams the first never existed and you are free to live again. No regrets here.

And the things you really want most, they happen here, and it's the best feeling. Uncomparable, in fact.

And when you wake up, you wake with hope because for those moments, you felt what it's like to have the things you've always wanted. And that feeling, the one I won't even begin to describe, it is your motivation.


Good night, sweet dreams.

Love, Jennifer

and for tomorrow...

So, what are your plans for tomorrow? What's that? You're going to school? Ohhhh right, school. I guess you would have to go to that, wouldn't you? Well HA! I'm not. You'd think I were excited about this or something.

Tomorrow is Region FBLA (fuh-bluh), and after that Hannah and I will drive over to BYU to watch State Swimming. You would not believe how ridiculously hard it is to get a paper signed in the high school. Honestly. We walked around, fuming, for like an hour today, and still didn't even get the stupid signature to drive ourselves tomorrow. We finally had to find a loophole, which is the current plan. "Extreme frustration!" was said many times. Lol. Anyway, I am very excited for this, because it's sounding like it will all amount to an amazing weekend.

Hmmm. I guess that's about all. Have a fantastic Friday. I will.

Love, Jennifer