"If you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the color of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat..."

The fox gazed at the little prince, for a long time.

"Please--tame me!" he said.

"I want to, very much," the little prince replied. "But I have not much time. I have friends to discover, and a great many things to understand."

"One only understands the things that one tames," said the fox. "Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends anymore. If you want a friend, tame me..."

So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near---

"Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry."

"It is your own fault," said the little prince. "I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you..."

"Yes, that is so," said the fox.

"But now you are going to cry!" said the little prince.

"Yes, that is so," said the fox.

"Then it has done you no good at all!"

"It has done me good," said the fox, "because of the color of the wheat fields."

"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."

4:47

Wanderlust.

Love, Jennifer

Cathedral of the Madeleine

Want to know my Christmas wish for this year? It's pretty simple...

(via panoramio.com)

I just really want to experience this in person. ^^^

I'm completely in love with this building--the Cathedral of the Madeleine.

And I'm not even catholic.

I hope Donald will take me sometime very soon. (please!)

Also, I hope to make those I love very happy, as they make me.

Love, Jennifer

Hope persists.

So this is about how my life feels lately. Open one door, get shut out, open another. Which opens to more choices. This job thing has become rather tedious lately. There's really no way of telling what will work and what won't, so I keep turning in my applications and resumes, hoping to hit the jackpot and find that one door that actually opens for me. No luck so far, but what can I do except keep trying?

Today was rather full of ups and downs, first some ups as I left a couple places after turning my applications in, getting actually positive responses from both. Let me tell you, there is no feeling like hope. Later, at the place where I was most excited to speak with someone about a job, I got the worst response yet, and left feeling really angry and even embarrassed. All because of the wrong advice given to me when I called earlier. Not my fault. Not exactly anyway. But I left feeling so terrible and also (worst of all!) so suddenly devoid of hope about my situation. I noticed then this really strange tendency for my mood to completely affect the way I perceive the world. Earlier, as I drove home feeling awesome about good outlooks for the future, pretty much EVERYTHING I saw made me happy. I noticed how great Salt Lake is, how freaking wonderful bobbleheads in cars are, how perfectly fall-like it is these days, and how much I still had going for me, jobless or not. After being so jilted, I drove home hating pretty much everything, including all those people who have jobs and can only complain about having to go to work. At least you have work!

Really, nothing changed today. Except for my perspective on everything, and I must say, I prefer a positive outlook. I am learning though, that hope is an especially springy friend and always seems to bounce back, equally as full of life as before. Which is good, because during the hardest times, sometimes all you can do is hold onto those little strings of faith and wait for things to work out.

Oh, and by the way! Excellent news, if I may say so myself. Nicole, from ANTM 13 has made it to the top two. I'm just going to brag here, and say she has been my favorite since her very odd beginnings. Good to know I'm right :) If you have no idea what I'm talking about, shame on you. Or good for you? Something.

Love, Jennifer

Friday Night Comforts

So here I am on a Friday night, sitting in my snuggly bed, comforter all wrinkled and bunched up and gloriously puffy.  All day I have been reading a book about discovery and adventure and, of course, taking wonderful naps.  I have a nice cold glass of water with ice cubes marinating inside.  As soon as they're soft and ready I will enjoy chewing on some really awesome crunchy ice.  No one else is home yet; everything is rather peaceful.  I'll probably paint my nails grey.  Soon I'll join some of my very favorite people for some delicious, warm food.  And then I'll come home to the still, dark quiet and put on my pajamas and turn on Dexter.  Donald and I will cuddle and watch our favorite serial killer do his thing ("How do you think he's going to get out of this one!?").  And yeah...that's about how it will go.

I really, really love days like this.  There's no better way to close a long week (especially one like this week, seriously) than wrapping myself up in every comfort in the world and enjoying them to their fullest.  (By the way, t

he ice is getting really wonderful at this point.  Mm.  Ice.)

I like the average college weekend as much as the next person, but sometimes it's just really nice to get away from parties and people, people, people, and just enjoy the really simple things that make you happy.

This morning I woke up and it was just one of those mornings where everything seems like the perfect combination of elements to produce a just-right day.  First of all, it was a jacket-less day which in itself is a thing of wonder.  I'm so not ready for cold yet.  And as I walked to the TRAX station, there was a warm wind blowing thousands of leaves all over earth.  Not only leaves, the Fall Kind of Leaves:  huge, crunchy, perfectly orange and gold.  It was pretty much wonderful.  I'm not sure what it is, but lately I've been realizing how great the simple things are, and how much happier they make me than anything else.  I guess it's just a nice feeling to be content with your life in the moment, and have no need for anything extra.

Happy Friday.  Hope yours is filled with every comfort :)

P.S., How amazing would it be to sleep here??

Love, Jennifer

Kasa No Hone

The ribs of the umbrella
Have fallen apart;
The paper is also torn,
But with bamboo
Tied together.
Do not throw it away,
Though I
Also am torn,
Don't desert me.

Today's Inspirations

Love, Jennifer

I would like to talk about something...

It is pottery.  I do not know what has happened, but somehow I have regressed to the point of being able to do NOTHING!  It started out much this way but after a little struggle I conquered the idea of making a cup (which, apparently, is the absolute easiest thing to make ever.  apparently).  And then it happened, that little bit of self-sabotage I unfortunately let happen now and then.  I got just a little bit too confident in my "abilities."  Now I am knocked back to my senses by the newest assignment, which is "tall things" which by the way, I am not so good at making!  In fact, I'm kinda terrible...which does nothing for my desire to keep trying, although I know I have to.  If I could do this all in secret, I feel I might progress along much more quickly, because I'm not afraid to try, or to mess up, when no one's watching.  And here's the root of the problem, I believe...my expectations are generally WAY too high for myself.  And I hate, hate, hate failing at things.  I can't live with it.  Which is helpful in that I'll struggle along until I no longer fail, but extremely detrimental in that I have no patience until I get to a better place.  It's kind of ridiculous when you think about it, because COME ON!, we're talking about pottery here!  Anyway...I felt a little vent might be helpful because I have exactly 56 minutes until I have to leave to catch TRAX to make it to, yes, pottery.  And I'm tired of feeling frustrated about it.  Well that's all I'll say about that.

Speaking of, I best hurry and finish this as to leave time for some vegetable-scarfing before I have to go.  I went on a fruit and veggie shopping spree the other day, more of a sincere apology to my body than anything else since my diet has degraded lately to something I'm kind of embarrassed about.  Turns out chicken nuggets and taquitos don't cut it for a week straight...or more...  Granted, I am one of those college students, but considering my extreme interest in a career in Nutrition, shouldn't I know better?  Yeah, I definitely should.  Take this as my rededication to a better life.  And the result of MSN and their catchy little articles on health.  Or whatever.

Love, Jennifer

best read with a triscuit in your mouth...

10/19/09

I am not one for theatrics, but I feel I must confess:  I have achieved amazing things today!

....wait, maybe not.  but I did finally pound out the Research Methods paper I have due in the morning.  This thing has been HAUNTING me for about a week now.  It was just one of those things (insert my laziness here) where I could not get started.  Or keep going.  But that's how it usually goes with these things, right?  The things I have to do are the hardest but the things that will take me nowhere are so easy...and threaten so often to take over my life!  And the craziest part is that when I make up my mind to accomplish something, I can seriously get stuff done.  It's all a matter of willpower, I suppose.

Speaking of getting things done... I seriously need a job.  And this current failure is definitely not for lack of trying.  I cannot even tell you how many job applications I've filled out.  Or how many times my fragile little heart has been broken in the process.  I have one promising prospect at the moment, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed, and meanwhile plotting my next move.  Tell me what you think.  I turned in my app exactly one week ago, at which time I was told ...

1)They are definitely hiring.

2)My availability is legit!  (jk, that was for you, Morgie)  But seriously, my schedule is really awesome for an evening/weekend job.

So now, my (very minor) dilemma.  When is too early to call back and check on things?  Because I feel like if I just sit back and wait for something to fall into my lap, nothing will ever happen.  A little initiative never hurts, but I don't want to become overbearing.  So far I have two votes for going back in to chat sometime this week and if I hear no other suggestions, I will be doing just that.  Which seems pretty reasonable to me.  Where is the job?  I don't even want to tell you; I don't want to jinx this.  But let's all hope, right?  Go me.

Here's my latest thing: coming to terms/struggling with/accepting my seeming insignificance.  Hm.  This sounds way sadder than it actually is.  In fact, it's not really sad at all considering everyone on earth falls into this category.  Think about it, billions of people in the world, and all of us trying to make something of our lives.  This is especially hard when you finally realize being on your own means being on your own sometimes.  And even though there are people to always count on, sometimes you have to face all of it in solitude, because if you don't you will never know how it could have turned out.  Sometimes, on nights when I'm holed up in my little apartment next to the laundry room, trying hard to make it through a paper while thinking about the vegetables I haven't eaten lately and the skin crises heaped upon me in October and the fact that I am jobless and not engaged (which, by the way, is something I am getting mixed messages for but I don't really want to be married at this point in my life but should I???  Seems like the thing to do these days!) all the while trying to love correctly and unconditionally and also, what about God and doing what is right and what is that whole thing all about!  It's more dramatic than I intended, but these are a few of my current worries.  And then, I stop for just a small moment, and realize...

1) It is raining outside, and the sound is absolutely beautiful

2) Which I did not notice until my glorious roommate pointed it out to me, while visiting as I took a break from the paper, which

3) A really wonderful (and not to mention inspirational!) friend of mine is helping me with through the medium of text messages, facebook, and twenty-minute phone calls.  Also,

4) I don't have a job.  Yet.  But I do have hope.

5) I have someone to love.  Who still thinks I look good even when I have skin crises.

6) Figuring it all out is half of the fun.  (Fun...?  Wait...)

7)  I have Rosemary and Olive Oil Triscuits, and

8)  I'm still breathing so I must still be alive.

So here's to being insignificant for the moment and finding happiness in such a thing.  And here's to good snack foods and doing amazing things, even though they are hard.

Love, Jennifer

saturday

10/17/09

Today turned out to be one of those days that is inexplicably wonderful for really no reason at all.  After sleeping in (and in and in...) and hanging around the apartment for awhile, I set off for Liberty Park.

I love Liberty Park.  I really do.  Besides the fact that it is HUGE, I just really like the idea of having a little haven in the middle of Salt Lake City where people flock to when they want a bit of an escape.  As of yet, I have found nowhere in Salt Lake where people are so happy!  Or anywhere so peaceful.  Or where rollerblading has been revived so well.  Ha!

Today's highlight was the medieval swordfighting group.  It was awesome.  While walking around, I found this huge group of people all dressed up in costumes and holding foamy swords and shields, enacting a huge battle.  It was so great.  And quite complicated.... I wasn't there long enough to figure it out but they had these complex rules to follow...very impressive.  And as I was leaving, I heard one of them yell "Gandalf!"  :)

In other news, I saw Where the Wild Things Are last night.  It was not at all like I expected.  I'm not sure exactly what was off about it, but I left the theatre feeling a little disappointed and quite confused.  The plot was just really strange, but the monsters were freaking awesome.  Which is all that really matters, I guess.

Love, Jennifer

picturelife

October 9. 2009

New idea.  I'm terrible at explaining things in words, so I'll let the magic of my camera phone do it for me.  Here's an update of how things look in my life right now, through my favorite medium of photography.

my new favorite thing!  yummy yummy dino buddies!  5 pounds of them; thank you costco :)

This is Don!  it's midnight, and it's his birthday.  it was a good time; he was like a little kid waiting for his present :)  Now that he has it, he is quite content.

This is a dummy.  M and I left it in someone's room.  And, I quote, we are "creepers!  i almost peed my pants!"  best idea ever.

This is where I study.  And watch movies.  And am eaten by the free squirrel couch.

This is my room!  Perpetually unmade bed and the macbook i am addicted to.  and a pile of books i swear i'll get to when i have time.  over there on the wall is my 8 pages of reading assignments for this term.  completion rate:  around 20%.  boo me.
This is where i sit every day, waiting for TRAX to take me home.  that guy looks like he's popping out of the trash can, but really he's not.

Sep. 26...my birthday!  i'm old!  donald took me shopping:  he's a man-purse (as he likes to say.)

i also went to homecoming with him, which was excellent

And that is my life in pictures.

Love, Jennifer