Lately I've been kind of distracted by the awful things in life...don't you hate that? I know I do. Especially because I'm usually such a positive person! Sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed by all the material I'm expected to learn this semester, and by all the steps I still have left in getting ready to apply for grad school. If I'm not at school, I'm probably studying, or if I'm not doing that, I'm probably at work. The worst part is the fact that it is neverending... even after one assignment or chapter is finished, there's another one to replace it the next day.
I've been trying to stop and breathe and realize that I'm in a good place...in fact, I'm in a really fortunate and blessed place. It is extremely rare, on a global perspective, for one person to have so many opportunities in front of them, so I'm trying to hold onto that fact when it all seems too much to handle.
It would be very easy to get lost in the tedium, in the difficulty, in the extreme unfairness that is loss in this life, but there's no happiness in that. These lessons are hard-learned, but I feel like I'm growing into a wiser human being by taking part in them. There is a certain peace in knowing that you're working your hardest. That glorious feeling you get after physically exhausting yourself in a crazy hard work out? I'm hoping the same reward comes after mental exhaustion :)
There are so many nice things going on right now, though. The first that comes to mind is volunteering. I volunteer about once a week at Camp Kostopulos, which provides activities and social experiences for adults with disabilities. I can get so wrapped up in myself and my troubles, but once I'm there, it all disappears. I'm amazed, over and over, at how kind and genuine these people are...both participants and staff. It's hard to feel sorry for yourself when there is so much goodness around you.
Secondly, I've realized how in love I am with cooking and baking. I've recently had a reunion with my domestic side and it makes me feel so much more relaxed! There's something inherently satisfying about creating a meal from distinguishable ingredients that's free of preservatives and artificial color and so many other things we're not even aware of. I think my interest in nutrition stems from a pure and passionate love of food--I love to cook it, and I love to eat it!
There are so many more things to be in love with as well: the chorus of crickets outside my door every single night; watching my little tomato plants grow and sprout blossoms and eventually tomatoes that swell and slowly blush with color until they're bursting and sweet; my parents, who are unfalteringly loyal and loving and far too kind; netflix, which keeps me excited and watching the mailbox!; the feeling that I am progressing, no matter how slowly it feels; upcoming trips!; and of course, really awesome friends. I wish I could carry them all around with me constantly, but I have to settle for seeing them as much as I can. Out of everything, they are the ones helping me keep my sanity.
Thanks for listening.
Love,
Jennifer
