Dear Blog Family/World/Internet,
Today I was thinking about, well, a lot of things and about all the categories people fit into in high school. Such as, the one who for whatever reason, just has a really exceptional high school experience, and every moment for them is a yearbook moment. Or there's the one who completely hates it for no other reason than the fact that they just hate it. And there are a hundred other little categories that fall in between those, one of which I fit into. And mine isn't necessarily good, although it has been good, and not necessarily bad, although it has been that as well.
In psychology we talked about some stages of "finding" yourself, or whatever you'd like to call it, figuring out your world or whatever. He told us about the "crisis" stage, which isn't as negative as it sounds, where you're trying everything and testing and exploring everything trying to find what fits you. You've made no decisions but you're trying. And I realized in this one strange, crystallized moment that I've been in this 'crisis' stage for like two years. And I'm completely serious. I kind of feel like the cliche picture of a conflicted high schooler. I'm insanely frustrated, at nothing at all! Sometimes I get what I'm looking for, but often I do not, which is a source of confusion to me. The things I'm trying to find are not bad, or unworthy, just somehow out of reach... which has led to a lot of thought about the whole thing, whether they are things that will never be available or if I'm just supposed to sit it out and wait. It's very troubling. Lol. Because honestly, I don't know how much there is out there if the simplest things I'm looking for are never to be found.
Love, Jennifer
ps- I was a really fantastic tiger for Halloween! And I had to scream whenever anyone touched me at dinner. That was interesting. Lol. I'll post pictures later when I'm not lazy.
Oh. also, pop rocks=fizzy throat feeling. hahaha.
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