that kind of love

Today I volunteered at the Beehive House, which is basically a rest home. It was an interesting experience. I was kind of just helping clean up, and taking care of the elderlies, and was vacuuming some of their rooms out when I started to notice the pictures. There were pictures, in almost every room, of them, of their lives. Their families, and lovers. It hit something inside of me that I cannot explain. It made me really sad. But I guess that's just life, isn't it? What's that word....nostalgia. That's what I felt. And I've never even met these people before. There's just something about seeing someone in the last stages of their lives that makes you aware of how little time you truly have. And how incredibly important each moment is. Something about the place just kept puzzling me though, I couldn't understand it.

This lady, Alice, wanted some coffee, so I made it for her. I'm pretty sure it was not good coffee at all, but she accepted it and said it was good. That's just who they are. I kept wondering what kinds of things they knew that i didn't, not yet. I was out of my comfort zone for sure, but it was kind of good to see my life like that, in perspective. I washed dishes, and let them make phone calls, which, looking back, i don't think they are usually allowed to do (which is terrible! what??), I made coffee and hot chocolate, and vacuumed, and boiled eggs. And kind of wished I were as happy with my life as they are. There was a couple there, this old man and his wife, who he was trying to get to eat dinner. They barely spoke, but as I watched them, I got it. I kind of began to understand this small, old-person world. I got how important it is to love someone, and I don't mean your ordinary love, I mean the I-will-make-you-eat-your-tuna-sandwich-when-we-get-wrinkly-because-i-love-you-that-much,-always-and-forever love. Yeah. It reminds me of pretty much every death cab song ever, and it reminds me of what i want out of life. someone to feed me sandwiches when i forget to do it myself. Oh.

Love, Jennifer