Thursday, June 03, 2010

Valerie's Letter

Because I haven't posted in weeks and because this is more eloquent than I could ever be...

"I am me. My name is Valerie. I don't think I'll live much longer and I wanted to tell someone about my life. This is the only autobiography I'll ever write and, God, I'm writing it on toilet paper. I was born in Nottingham in 1985. I don't remember much of those early years, but I do remember the rain. My grandmother owned a farm in Tottlebrook, and she used to tell me that God was in the rain.

I passed my eleventh class and went to girl's grammar. It was at school that I met my first girlfriend. Her name was Sarah. It was her wrists. They were beautiful. I thought we would love each other forever. I remember our teacher telling us that it was an adolescent phase that people outgrew. Sarah did. I didn't.

In 2002 I fell in love with a girl named Christina. That year I came out to my parents. I couldn't have done it without Chris holding my hand. My father wouldn't look at me--he told me to go and never come back. My mother said nothing. I'd only told them the truth; was that so selfish?

Our integrity sells for so little. It is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us, but within that inch, we are free.

I'd always known what I wanted to do with my life, and in 2015 I started my first film, the Salt Flats. It was the most important role of my life, not because of my career, but because that was how I met Ruth. The first time we kissed, I knew I never wanted to kiss any other lips but hers again.

We moved to a flat in London. She grew scarlet roses for me in our window box, and our place always smelled of roses. Those were the best years of my life. But America's war grew worse and worse and eventually came to London. After that there were no roses anymore--not for anyone.

I remember how the meaning of words began to change. How unfamiliar words like collateral and rendition became frightening. Where things like the Articles of Allegiance became powerful. I remember how different became dangerous. I still don't understand it, why they hate us so much. They took Ruth while she was out buying food. I've never cried so hard in my life. It wasn't long till they came for me.

It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place. For three years I had roses and apologized to no one. I shall die here. Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch but one. An inch--it is small and it is fragile, but it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must never let them take it from us. I hope that whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the world turns and things get better. But I hope most of all that you understand what I mean when I tell you that even though I do not know you, and even though I may not meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you.

Valerie."
(V for Vendetta)


With all my heart,
I love you,
Jennifer

4 comments:

Holly Kathrine said...

Miss Jennifer,
I think we were made to be friends.
This exact text was the Sterling Scholar monologue I chose and worked with all year.
I love it with my whole heart and more.
:) I hope to be seeing you more often.

Jennifer said...

That's so great! I hope I do get to see more of you :)

Morgan said...

Super love this.

Nat said...

Valerie is so so near to my heart.
It's hard to believe this all came out of a graphic novel foundation..
Nevertheless.. it is truly marvelous.moving.monumental.