9/9/09
Love, Jennifer
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
updates and such.
9/2/09
Here we are, back at school. I feel pretty strange this year, probably because I don't live directly on campus anymore, but I still love it and it's working out well.
This semester my schedule is intensely psychology-related, which is both nice and kind of disconcerting sometimes. I find it really interesting, but at the same time, having insight into the human mind so much of the time makes it hard not to see things in yourself that you don't want to. On the plus side, I don't feel so crazy about being crazy sometimes because I can now identify some of the causes. Sort of. It's nice to actually really care about what I'm learning. This is the stuff I've waited for! The stuff that will actually end up mattering.
Also...pottery. It's HARD. I'm making myself calm down and relax about this, or there's no way I'll ever progress, but it's really challenging. And being in a class with advanced students combined makes it a little frustrating. But I'm learning slowly and actually have fun, despite everything I just said.
As of now, I have basically no homework except reading chapters out of books. I feel super lazy. But it's a nice segue into what the rest of the semester will most likely turn into. I'm figuring out how to balance things this way. And besides, it leaves time for lots of naps, which I indulge in way too often.
The odd thing? Seeing heber kids all-freaking-over. Apparently the class of 2009 all decided to come to the U. It's not bad, just odd.
Donald and I are great. 1 year anniversary was yesterday. :)
Off to discussion group and then the pool.
Love, Jennifer
Friday, August 14, 2009
Anything for You
August 14, 2009
I have called you children, I have called you son.
What is there to answer if I'm the only one?
Morning comes in Paradise, morning comes in light.
Still I must obey, still I must invite.
If there's anything to say, if there's anything to do,
If there's any other way, I'll do anything for you.
I was dressed embarrassment.
I was dressed in wine.
If you had a part of me, will you take your time?
Even if I come back, even if I die
Is there some idea to replace my life?
Like a father to impress;
Like a mother's mourning dress,
If you ever make a mess, I'll do anything for you
I have called you preacher; I have called you son.
If you have a father or if you haven't one,
I'll do anything for you. I did everything for you
What is there to answer if I'm the only one?
Morning comes in Paradise, morning comes in light.
Still I must obey, still I must invite.
If there's anything to say, if there's anything to do,
If there's any other way, I'll do anything for you.
I was dressed embarrassment.
I was dressed in wine.
If you had a part of me, will you take your time?
Even if I come back, even if I die
Is there some idea to replace my life?
Like a father to impress;
Like a mother's mourning dress,
If you ever make a mess, I'll do anything for you
I have called you preacher; I have called you son.
If you have a father or if you haven't one,
I'll do anything for you. I did everything for you
Thursday, August 13, 2009
current things.
So this is pretty weird, but I'm getting really close to moving out of my parents' house. For good. It's a really weird thought to me, but I like the idea of it a lot. Sometimes (most of the time) I still feel so young, like twelve, really. Other times, I know it's time for me to move on and discover the next adventures of my life. So this, like any other change for me, is filled with equal amounts of excitement and fear. I'll probably be moving down to my apartment in Salt Lake on Saturday. Ah!
In related news, my last day of work (forEVER!) at Soldier Hollow is tomorrow. I feel actually kind of sad about this. It's hard to explain exactly how I feel, but I've grown very fond, I guess you would say, of the people I work with. And if you haven't caught on to this yet, I hate endings of any kind. It will be way awesome to not have to wake up at 5 anymore though!
As for school, this semester I'll actually start into my core psychology classes, which I'm really psyched about. Right now, my plan is a major in Psychology, minor in Nutrition, and hopefully I'll graduate with an Honors degree. I've gotta get on top of stuff and start getting involved in some research and all. The nice thing about all of this is that I finally feel like I can breathe.....because finally, finally, I feel like I have a direction and a plan. No more wandering aimlessly. Obviously it will most likely change a bit or a lot before the end, but it feels so much nicer to know what I'm working towards.
And finally, back to the life list. I really regret not posting about skydiving, but that's that, so if you'd like to know how it went and how amazing and alive it made me feel, just ask and I'll tell you all about it. But anyway, the list.... since skydiving is now checked off, I have something else to take its place which is (and I'm serious!).... shark cage diving! I don't know how or when I will make this happen, but I know it would be really really really awesome. And kind of dangerous, but that's what I like about it.
the list as of now. ish.
--the northern lights
--fireflies
--shark cage diving
--general happiness. of course.
Love, Jennifer
Saturday, August 01, 2009
"Red"
This feeling that we grew upon
Was never meant for words
And early morning thoughts
Scream forget me not
And I know the price of time
Is never too low
And the light overhead blocked out the moon
And the stars turned to red
And it's easy to get lost when you're in an element like this
Let it all go, let it all go
Give me something I can hold
See the world in black and white
Just close your eyes, close your eyes.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
July 28, 2009
So....not much to say except for this:
Yesterday, I slept from 2:30 p.m. when I got home until 4:30 a.m. the next day, when I woke up for work. Whooooa. A record even for me.
Love, Jennifer
Today's playlist:
- Only By The Night (Kings of Leon)
- Oracular Spectacular (MGMT)
- On A Clear Night (Missy Higgins)
Friday, July 24, 2009
thoughts of a dying...adventurist?
July 24, 2009
I just had the strangest dream. It was one of those that affects you so deeply that you can't shake the feeling even after you've woken. In a bid for adventure I mistakenly catapulted myself off this gigantic church-type roof on a bicycle. Absolutely the tallest building ever. The next thing I knew I was sitting contemplating my life because I knew that I'd suffered internal injuries that couldn't be fixed and I had a few days at most to live. Pieces of my body kept detaching themselves from inside as I slowly faded. I cannot even begin to explain the way I felt. The most surprising thing was how much fear I felt. I feared the idea of death so much. Like a thief taking away the single most important thing, death waited for me on the sidelines while I struggled to soak in what little I could with what time I had left. I felt so much regret, and at the same time had a much clearer view of what life really meant. I was so sad for the person I would never come, the fact that I would never be married or have children, graduate college, decide what to do with my life, nothing. It seemed so ridiculous to me, the things I used to worry about. Careers and school schedules absolutely paled in comparison to what I now faced. I felt so terrible for my parents and my brother, who would have to watch me die, and really jealous of those who still had a future ahead of them. Despite all of this, I wasn't angry or bitter, I just knew that it was my destiny to end this way. In a way it was a calm thought, although underneath I still wanted so much.
I'm think I know why I dreamt this, and I'm glad to have felt what I did. My subconscious knew what I did not. Even as I type this, the feeling is fading, but I hope to hold on to as much of it as I possibly can. I am so grateful to be alive right now, to have endless days ahead of me, but still I know that time waits for no one.
Love, Jennifer
Monday, July 20, 2009
divisions
July 20, 2009
Hello everyone. Sorry about the long absence, but to be honest, I'm often so bored I can't bring myself to do anything. And also I hate using the family computer, but that's another story.
So....a lot of the time my thoughts for blogs are golf course thoughts, which is to say things I ponder over while spending hours mowing grass every day. However, this one is a thought that's been percolating inside my head for months, or possibly even longer, I'm not sure. It's something that's developed slowly, and progressively become more obvious to me in my own relationships and those I observe of others. Sometimes it really discourages and frustrates me. So I'll throw it out there and see what you think.
Last time I blogged about passion, and this is somewhat related, but sort of different in this context.
Love.
It's puzzling to me why we all have such a hard time with it. Life is at its best when we feel love and are able to give love to others, but a lot of our time is spent denying it to those we don't feel like deserve it.
For instance, during my first year of college I encountered the strangest feelings between people who are LDS/people who are not. Taking into account that a lot of the instances that stuck out to me are simply extremes, a large amount of lds kids i knew had this habit of building walls. of not knowing how to coexist with others who have different values than them and quite frankly not wanting to. In return, many who were not lds, and specifically those who weren't from utah had this terrible opinion of mormons because they came across as closed-off, closed-minded, and definitely judgmental. it was frustrating to me. a large part of me tried to change those opinions and wanted to convince everyone that mormons weren't the worst people in the world and weren't out to judge them, but to be honest it's often a failing argument.
After a short amount of time, i realized how puzzling this problem is. on one hand, coming from an lds community and family, i can see their point of view. What comes across as judgmental and closed-minded is simply a person trying their very hardest to protect what they believe and live up to the standards they have chosen. Unfortunately sometimes people can't help avoiding building this box around themselves. It's not that they have feelings of animosity towards others, it's just that they're fiercely trying to be something different and don't know how to reconcile that with the way others are living their lives...sometimes really crazy lives.
On the other hand, it would frustrate me to no end. I hated that there had to be this division between what seemed like two clear groups. I have no answers for this, but I always wondered why people couldn't find a way to coexist. Find some way to be themselves and uphold their values without alienating others and seeming judgmental. I suppose in the end, it's better to be exactly who you want to be even if it offends others, but is there no middle ground?
As for love, I felt none of it, from either side. People automatically judged me and labeled me as a stuffy mormon because that is my religion. I could literally see it in their faces as they would dismiss me upon hearing this bit of information. Donald started trying his best to defend me. He's wonderful, and I love that about him, but I understood his need to quickly explain that I was more open-minded than other mormons. There was literally a small window of time to try to save yourself before your opportunity to get to know anyone was missed. Alternately, the people I was supposed to go to church with quickly realized I was trying to live in both worlds, and like the others dismissed me for that as well. I was too mormon for a lot of so-called "normal" people, and too not-mormon for all the lds kids in my building and around campus. I will give them credit for trying. And I must admit that there were 2 or 3 people who genuinely accepted me for who I was, but so many others obviously disapproved of my stance in life. Of course, it didn't help that I am dating someone who isn't lds. All I will say about this is that I have decided to accept people for what they are rather than what they aren't.
I guess this is the thing....this division I felt, albeit in a small way and seemingly unimportant in the grand scheme of things, exists among so many groups, religious or ethnic or whatever. We find it so hard to accept what is different. To be a bit of a nerd for a moment, this reminds me of the scene in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (movie) where harry is with luna in the forest. they are petting the thestrals and luna explains that they're really gentle creatures but people tend to stay away from them simply because they are so different.
I hate to see it, but no matter who you are, you have held back loving or accepting or even just giving someone a chance because they have been different than you. I suppose at this point I'm trying to reconcile my two worlds, which is sometimes very stressful to me. I'm trying so hard to love and accept everyone equally. That, I believe, is much more important than building walls around myself to make up for some self-doubt about who I am. I guess I have already decided who I am and what is important to me, and loving someone who isn't the same isn't going to change that.
Love, Jennifer
Hello everyone. Sorry about the long absence, but to be honest, I'm often so bored I can't bring myself to do anything. And also I hate using the family computer, but that's another story.
So....a lot of the time my thoughts for blogs are golf course thoughts, which is to say things I ponder over while spending hours mowing grass every day. However, this one is a thought that's been percolating inside my head for months, or possibly even longer, I'm not sure. It's something that's developed slowly, and progressively become more obvious to me in my own relationships and those I observe of others. Sometimes it really discourages and frustrates me. So I'll throw it out there and see what you think.
Last time I blogged about passion, and this is somewhat related, but sort of different in this context.
Love.
It's puzzling to me why we all have such a hard time with it. Life is at its best when we feel love and are able to give love to others, but a lot of our time is spent denying it to those we don't feel like deserve it.
For instance, during my first year of college I encountered the strangest feelings between people who are LDS/people who are not. Taking into account that a lot of the instances that stuck out to me are simply extremes, a large amount of lds kids i knew had this habit of building walls. of not knowing how to coexist with others who have different values than them and quite frankly not wanting to. In return, many who were not lds, and specifically those who weren't from utah had this terrible opinion of mormons because they came across as closed-off, closed-minded, and definitely judgmental. it was frustrating to me. a large part of me tried to change those opinions and wanted to convince everyone that mormons weren't the worst people in the world and weren't out to judge them, but to be honest it's often a failing argument.
After a short amount of time, i realized how puzzling this problem is. on one hand, coming from an lds community and family, i can see their point of view. What comes across as judgmental and closed-minded is simply a person trying their very hardest to protect what they believe and live up to the standards they have chosen. Unfortunately sometimes people can't help avoiding building this box around themselves. It's not that they have feelings of animosity towards others, it's just that they're fiercely trying to be something different and don't know how to reconcile that with the way others are living their lives...sometimes really crazy lives.
On the other hand, it would frustrate me to no end. I hated that there had to be this division between what seemed like two clear groups. I have no answers for this, but I always wondered why people couldn't find a way to coexist. Find some way to be themselves and uphold their values without alienating others and seeming judgmental. I suppose in the end, it's better to be exactly who you want to be even if it offends others, but is there no middle ground?
As for love, I felt none of it, from either side. People automatically judged me and labeled me as a stuffy mormon because that is my religion. I could literally see it in their faces as they would dismiss me upon hearing this bit of information. Donald started trying his best to defend me. He's wonderful, and I love that about him, but I understood his need to quickly explain that I was more open-minded than other mormons. There was literally a small window of time to try to save yourself before your opportunity to get to know anyone was missed. Alternately, the people I was supposed to go to church with quickly realized I was trying to live in both worlds, and like the others dismissed me for that as well. I was too mormon for a lot of so-called "normal" people, and too not-mormon for all the lds kids in my building and around campus. I will give them credit for trying. And I must admit that there were 2 or 3 people who genuinely accepted me for who I was, but so many others obviously disapproved of my stance in life. Of course, it didn't help that I am dating someone who isn't lds. All I will say about this is that I have decided to accept people for what they are rather than what they aren't.
I guess this is the thing....this division I felt, albeit in a small way and seemingly unimportant in the grand scheme of things, exists among so many groups, religious or ethnic or whatever. We find it so hard to accept what is different. To be a bit of a nerd for a moment, this reminds me of the scene in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (movie) where harry is with luna in the forest. they are petting the thestrals and luna explains that they're really gentle creatures but people tend to stay away from them simply because they are so different.
I hate to see it, but no matter who you are, you have held back loving or accepting or even just giving someone a chance because they have been different than you. I suppose at this point I'm trying to reconcile my two worlds, which is sometimes very stressful to me. I'm trying so hard to love and accept everyone equally. That, I believe, is much more important than building walls around myself to make up for some self-doubt about who I am. I guess I have already decided who I am and what is important to me, and loving someone who isn't the same isn't going to change that.
Love, Jennifer
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
passion
June 16, 2009
In case you don't know, I work on a golf course, mowing grass all day. After awhile it kind of gets to be like driving, where you don't have to think about what you're doing so much as just letting your muscles do the work. It gives me a lot of time to think about things, and this just happens to be one of the things I pondered on today.
Passion. It's the strangest thing. There is no greater motivator in our lives, no pursuit holds our interest more or leads us to more happiness. There is also nothing else with the capacity to cause us so much emotional pain. For reasons unknown to us, we pursue our passions like a tangible dream, surpassing all obstacles in chase of what holds our attention at that moment. Sometimes these things are people. A lot of the time. Other times they are objects or goals or any number of other things. We cannot consciously choose what captures our heart; in fact, we often fall in love with the wrong person, whether they be simply wrong for us, unattainable, or undesirable. Sometimes we fall for the wrong behaviors or addictions. And yet, even in the moment we know that it's harmful to us, we are yet aching for what we desire. Our passions become the force propelling us from one stage of life to the next, defining moments and psychological states. It's hard to explain exactly what compels us, but it is absolutely sure that passion always has and always will move the human race. It seems that our passions and our souls are inextricably connected. Without it, we would be empty boxes, nothing more than a body surviving from day to day. In this way passions animate us and lift us up from the ordinary. Our hearts will ache, they will grow, and more often than not, they will break over passions but we will pick up the pieces and wake up ready to do it all again. What other choice do we have? Surely no one will get through this life without the pain of lost passion but surely there is no other path to happiness.
Love, Jennifer
.
In case you don't know, I work on a golf course, mowing grass all day. After awhile it kind of gets to be like driving, where you don't have to think about what you're doing so much as just letting your muscles do the work. It gives me a lot of time to think about things, and this just happens to be one of the things I pondered on today.
Passion. It's the strangest thing. There is no greater motivator in our lives, no pursuit holds our interest more or leads us to more happiness. There is also nothing else with the capacity to cause us so much emotional pain. For reasons unknown to us, we pursue our passions like a tangible dream, surpassing all obstacles in chase of what holds our attention at that moment. Sometimes these things are people. A lot of the time. Other times they are objects or goals or any number of other things. We cannot consciously choose what captures our heart; in fact, we often fall in love with the wrong person, whether they be simply wrong for us, unattainable, or undesirable. Sometimes we fall for the wrong behaviors or addictions. And yet, even in the moment we know that it's harmful to us, we are yet aching for what we desire. Our passions become the force propelling us from one stage of life to the next, defining moments and psychological states. It's hard to explain exactly what compels us, but it is absolutely sure that passion always has and always will move the human race. It seems that our passions and our souls are inextricably connected. Without it, we would be empty boxes, nothing more than a body surviving from day to day. In this way passions animate us and lift us up from the ordinary. Our hearts will ache, they will grow, and more often than not, they will break over passions but we will pick up the pieces and wake up ready to do it all again. What other choice do we have? Surely no one will get through this life without the pain of lost passion but surely there is no other path to happiness.
Love, Jennifer
.
Monday, June 15, 2009
things.
June 15, 2009
Things I currently love.
doughnuts from days. "closer" by kings of leon. sleeping in. sunburns. not being sick. sunroofs. my bed. ultimate frisbee. being with donald. discovering the new self. cooking. basil. white teeth. dane cook. tegan and sara....sara and tegan. the prospect of living on my own. new friends. old friends. rediscovered friends. dumb movies. hot pockets. laughing with my father. weddings in the future (not even my own). knowing i will be okay, no matter what. smiles at the golf course. gluttonous weekends. the food network. hgtv. bicycles. bare feet. barbequed food. green grass. the moon in the morning. goodnight texts. leaving things behind. roximo. the simpsons. summer dresses. meeting new, interesting people. torrential rain. living within the mountains. upcoming concerts. farmers' markets. vegetables. sleeeeeeeeeping. mac. you. me. them. giving. paychecks. doing a good job. the color green. comedy. dinner from my mother. taking care of people. the reward after the wait. and a lot more.
Love, Jennifer
Things I currently love.
doughnuts from days. "closer" by kings of leon. sleeping in. sunburns. not being sick. sunroofs. my bed. ultimate frisbee. being with donald. discovering the new self. cooking. basil. white teeth. dane cook. tegan and sara....sara and tegan. the prospect of living on my own. new friends. old friends. rediscovered friends. dumb movies. hot pockets. laughing with my father. weddings in the future (not even my own). knowing i will be okay, no matter what. smiles at the golf course. gluttonous weekends. the food network. hgtv. bicycles. bare feet. barbequed food. green grass. the moon in the morning. goodnight texts. leaving things behind. roximo. the simpsons. summer dresses. meeting new, interesting people. torrential rain. living within the mountains. upcoming concerts. farmers' markets. vegetables. sleeeeeeeeeping. mac. you. me. them. giving. paychecks. doing a good job. the color green. comedy. dinner from my mother. taking care of people. the reward after the wait. and a lot more.
Love, Jennifer
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
currently.
June 2, 2009
How do I explain this? Life is interesting, for sure. It seems that once life begins changing, it is a downhill slope that only picks up speed as it goes. I think of where I was one year ago, or 3 months ago and it's so incredible to me how different things become as life goes on.
Specifically, (or not so specifically, being clear is not a prominent feature of my writings/blogs) I am beginning to feel more and more as if I am the only one around me willing to enjoy the moment for what it is without rushing on to the next. There is enough time to go around, folks. Just slow down. Don't force anything. Maybe it will be better than you think?
Summer is usually a nice change of things though this one has been odd so far. My days mostly consist of waking up way too early, working, doing a thing or two during the day, then going to sleep and starting all over. And lots of waiting. Waiting for weekends, for the chance to feel like I'm really living a life, for the time when I'll be able to go back, this time for good hopefully. I've been really surprised and really happy how things have worked out so far, because I was really worried about becoming disconnected when I moved back to my parents' house. Life works out nicely that way though. All I want is to be able to hold onto this once things change again.
Overall, I'm happy and excited and somehow really proud of myself for nothing at all.
Love, Jennifer
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
time travel
May 5, 2009
So, last night's dream...
I could travel backwards in time! I didn't really get to choose this, but I ended up at the end-of-the-year party last year after graduation. I was sitting in this group of people and we were all talking. Everyone got up and left except Hannah. I really wanted her to know so I whispered, "I have something to tell you. I'm from the FUTURE." She just nodded her head and said she thought so. Then I said, "Do you want me to tell you everything?" And she was like "No. No, no, no!" And then she ran away! That is the entirety of the dream. It was pretty great though.
That's all for now. Tomorrow I have a stats final, and then I'm finished. How odd.
Love, Jennifer
Friday, May 01, 2009
endings
So, as of now I have about 8 days left before I leave campus and end my first year of college. I have to say, it's really weird. I've been kind of stressed lately (and sick because of it...there was a period where I suspected the swine flu, but that's another story, lol...) about finals and about starting next year and everything. Plus, I have no idea where I will live in the fall. I've been really worried about that but I suppose I will just see what happens, because despite my urgency things pretty much always work out on their own. So...yeah. I'm happy right now and pretty excited for the summer and for the future in general.
AND my dreams are getting awesome again! For a long time they've been super boring but they've gotten weird again, which I love. :)
Love, Jennifer
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Excess is excess.
April 14, 2009
I've been trying my hardest to stay in the present lately and enjoy what I have while I have it, but that's always been difficult for me. I love to think about the past. I always worry about the future, especially now. It's funny, somehow I thought once I made it to college and past all those decisions, it would be all set for a long while without too much anxiety. Not true! Anyway, I've been ruining my happiness lately by freaking out over all of this rather than enjoying what's in front of me at the time. In light of all of this, I think I need to adjust the way I look at things, not only right now, but for the summer as well. I really think I need to simplify. A lot! I feel like my life's become overly, unnecessarily filled with extremely unimportant things. I really want to get rid of a lot of stuff. Material things--clothes, unused things, unnecessary things. Maybe eBay will make me some money this way :) But more than that, maybe I will have the clarity I desire if I'm less distracted by the material when I should be focusing on the important.
So anyway, that's how I'm feeling as of now, which has led to a few goals:
I've been trying my hardest to stay in the present lately and enjoy what I have while I have it, but that's always been difficult for me. I love to think about the past. I always worry about the future, especially now. It's funny, somehow I thought once I made it to college and past all those decisions, it would be all set for a long while without too much anxiety. Not true! Anyway, I've been ruining my happiness lately by freaking out over all of this rather than enjoying what's in front of me at the time. In light of all of this, I think I need to adjust the way I look at things, not only right now, but for the summer as well. I really think I need to simplify. A lot! I feel like my life's become overly, unnecessarily filled with extremely unimportant things. I really want to get rid of a lot of stuff. Material things--clothes, unused things, unnecessary things. Maybe eBay will make me some money this way :) But more than that, maybe I will have the clarity I desire if I'm less distracted by the material when I should be focusing on the important.
So anyway, that's how I'm feeling as of now, which has led to a few goals:
- get rid of the "extraneous" things, as neil would call them.
- drive my car as little as possible. Fix up the red bike once again and fall in love with it once again.
- do something meaningful that makes me feel alive. I have a pretty good idea of what this is.
- spend my time with the most important people to me.
- give generously
- be present
- live authentically.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Computer. Relay for Life. FML.
March 30, 2009
Here is my life as of late. My computer has stopped being useful. I have no internet, which is why I'm in a computer lab right now typing this. It's really frustrating to me because this happened for absolutely no reason at all. My little wireless button is eternally red, which is not good, and my computer tells me that it can find no networks to connect to because I have no wireless adapter. Yes I do! Or I used to! I've tried to research some solutions, but basically all I found was a lot of people (see forum) who have the same problem I do, but have no idea how to fix it because it's completely random. GAhhhhhhhh. If you want to see, here it is:
http://forums11.itrc.hp.com/service/forums/bizsupport/questionanswer.do?threadId=1136440&admit=109447626+1238378837173+28353475
Anyway, my warranty just barely expired in December, so that's bad news. But I'm taking it to the campus store tomorrow to see if they have any ideas. In the meantime, I am seriously considering the pros of switching to a Macbook, although I would be severely depleted of cash for the rest of forever. It's awesome.
Other than this, I have been surprisingly happy about the direction my life is going, and have a newfound interest in playing cards. And getting competitive. haha.
Thanks for listening to this terribly boring rant.
Love, Jennifer
PS--I will be participating in Relay for Life on campus in a couple weeks, so if any of you feel the generous desire to donate a bit of cash for my cause, that would rock. I hope to stay up all night and play a lot of cards when I'm not walking :)
www.fmylife.com
.
Here is my life as of late. My computer has stopped being useful. I have no internet, which is why I'm in a computer lab right now typing this. It's really frustrating to me because this happened for absolutely no reason at all. My little wireless button is eternally red, which is not good, and my computer tells me that it can find no networks to connect to because I have no wireless adapter. Yes I do! Or I used to! I've tried to research some solutions, but basically all I found was a lot of people (see forum) who have the same problem I do, but have no idea how to fix it because it's completely random. GAhhhhhhhh. If you want to see, here it is:
http://forums11.itrc.hp.com/service/forums/bizsupport/questionanswer.do?threadId=1136440&admit=109447626+1238378837173+28353475
Anyway, my warranty just barely expired in December, so that's bad news. But I'm taking it to the campus store tomorrow to see if they have any ideas. In the meantime, I am seriously considering the pros of switching to a Macbook, although I would be severely depleted of cash for the rest of forever. It's awesome.
Other than this, I have been surprisingly happy about the direction my life is going, and have a newfound interest in playing cards. And getting competitive. haha.
Thanks for listening to this terribly boring rant.
Love, Jennifer
PS--I will be participating in Relay for Life on campus in a couple weeks, so if any of you feel the generous desire to donate a bit of cash for my cause, that would rock. I hope to stay up all night and play a lot of cards when I'm not walking :)
www.fmylife.com
.
Monday, March 02, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
wrinkles.
February 17, 2009.
I was talking with a (new) friend of mine about getting old. She said she'll be the woman who continues dyeing her hair forever and gets Botox to smooth away the signs of age. She doesn't want any of it. I was just thinking....I can't wait to be old. To sit on the porch with the love of my life, holding arthritic hands. I can't wait to have grey hair and wrinkles and laugh lines. I want, as undesirable and embarrassing as some people might find it, to see the proof on my face that I
lived.
That I worked and I laughed and I learned.
And that I have the wrinkles to prove it.
Love, Jennifer
That I worked and I laughed and I learned.
And that I have the wrinkles to prove it.
Love, Jennifer
PS--Happy 300th post. :)
Monday, February 09, 2009
"Electric Fence" by Nick Arvin
Monday, February 9, 2009.
"He climbed the tree repeatedly, and he began to prefer the windy times when he could perch near the sky and feel the rush of the air and watch the horizon fall and rise. He went into the woods whenever a big wind started. The first time he was out in a storm, he was thrilled by the thrashing of the branches and the leaves, the crash of the rain, the danger. Soon he knew the big oak so well he could climb it by moonlight. The rush was even greater in a nighttime storm, a chaos of motion and wet blindness. And when the storm passed and uncovered the stars, it was a kind of miracle to cling so close to them and wait and watch while a blush of color grew on the horizon, then unrolled and unrolled until all the air was lit with blue and bright as day."
I read this, then looked around at all of my things and wondered why.
Love, Jennifer
"He climbed the tree repeatedly, and he began to prefer the windy times when he could perch near the sky and feel the rush of the air and watch the horizon fall and rise. He went into the woods whenever a big wind started. The first time he was out in a storm, he was thrilled by the thrashing of the branches and the leaves, the crash of the rain, the danger. Soon he knew the big oak so well he could climb it by moonlight. The rush was even greater in a nighttime storm, a chaos of motion and wet blindness. And when the storm passed and uncovered the stars, it was a kind of miracle to cling so close to them and wait and watch while a blush of color grew on the horizon, then unrolled and unrolled until all the air was lit with blue and bright as day."
I read this, then looked around at all of my things and wondered why.
Love, Jennifer
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)