So. I've kind of reached the conclusion that no one reads this blog anymore. At least anyone I know. And that could be a good thing I suppose; sometimes it's just nice to send my thoughts out into the big nothingness that is the internet.
Lately my quest for lucid dreaming has come to a halt. Absolutely no progress. It could be because it's all connected, my "real" life, my emotions, and the dreams. And lately there's been a bump in my life, a shift in the nice order of how things were going, and perhaps my dreams are responding to that. I don't know. It's all just a bunch of frustration at the moment. Real life more than dreaming.
I feel like i'm stuck lately. When I try to behave one way, nothing is solved, nothing changes. And if I change that at all, let my emotions slip, show my helplessness and frustration, it's worse. So much worse. It's pushed further in the opposite direction. I feel like there's nothing I can do, and the one way I used to have to solve things is inaccessible. Am I complaining too much? Probably. But what else can I do? I have no jars to smash.
I swear, no more complaining after this blog. This is all I will say to those I need to say things to.
I wish I were still an important part of your life.
I am happy for you but wish we still had what we did before. It's strangely important to me.
I wish you would all understand that I am only who I am.
I wish you would've given me the chance, but that doesn't matter anymore. What I wish now is that I would see you once in awhile, and we would talk.
That's all; really it is.
Love, Jennifer
5 comments:
I always read your blogs :)
That was kindof a depressing blog though. I feel bad for you, whatever it is. But be happy, there really is always something to stay positive about.
ps. I think your map thinks I live in Mantua or something haha?
i know we have never met, but i read your blogs, and just off the record here, you have the most interesting things to say.
don't stop blogging, if you do, you have to promise to write a book, talking about your life.
i think we share the same sort of feelings about complaining and the such. It is very sad and real, but iam glad i am not alone.
keep on the bright side of the stars.
~isaac
Jennifer.
I check your blog every time I log on. And I love you.
Still.
-Britta Marie
I was gonna go through and check up on everything i've missed, but your page color makes it hard...please change it? I wanna know what you have to say.
Love,
Berto
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